Here Goes Nothin'

Here goes nothin’. I’m scared. I’m not sure if I’m scared of failure or scared of success. I'm not sure if I'm scared of posting this or what? Maybe scared is the wrong word.

Holy hell am I anxious. 

I started the pre-order process of my app on Labor Day, September 7, 2026. Right now it’s just marketing and posting on popular social media platforms.

Launching this app for freemium this week is one of the happiest, scariest, and most stressful times for me.

I struggle with impostor syndrome. Never mind the fact that I've been doing this for nearly 35 years. I'm still second-guessing myself.

I struggle with the fact that I’m not good at marketing. My social media following is very small, granted, because I don’t post much.
Facebook is just close family and close friends. I’m just ecstatic for that because the actually preordered! (LUV YOUS! ❤️). That’s a limited amount of people though.

I don’t know how to go viral. I’m trying TikTok and YouTube Shorts for the first time, but it’s just video playback of my color by number replays. Interestingly enough to me, TikTok and YouTube Shorts have the most views of any platform.

But what’s really messed up is I find so much joy in making apps like this. It’s like writing music for me. I could sit in front of a piano for six hours and it only feels like minutes.

I want people to see my stuff. I want people to download and play my games, print out my puzzles, and share them. I just hope I can find a good way to do that.

This Journal

I technically wanted to start this journal yesterday. Anxiousness and forgetfulness just made that thought drown in my cacophonic mind.

It's not gonna be all sunshine and lollipops in here. I don't think it's fair for me to post just positive things. I think it's important to post the struggles, the process, and everything else in between.

Well, the good thing is I did start the pre-order of this app, and I am unbelievably grateful and happy that I got it out. I'm ecstatic that it passed review on the first pass.

I want this on record somewhere in this journal. Nothing in here is written with AI. I will only use AI to strictly fix mechanical errors and typos without altering sentence structure, rhythm (or lack thereof ;), or my choice of words.

You're reading this on Substack, this journal/newsletter/blog or whatever it's called on this platform will always be free.